After just two practices, ORG welcomed me and made me feel more comfortable than ASB has ever made me feel in two years.
I wanna live life and be good to you.
The hardest god damned part is struggling to matter.
I invariably crave you. I crave your uncontrolled gaze and your sincerest smile. But unfortunately, I crave what I cannot have.
I used to truly believe that you could love me and I could love you and that we would be beautiful. I used to. But after everything you’ll pulled, after last night, being fully aware of my feelings, I realized. I realized that you would never be anything more to me and I would never be anything more to you. Admittedly, it hurt. It still does. But what you have done to me cannot and will not define me. I’m sorry if you wanted me to cry and cry over about how vulnerable I am without you, but I can rise above — with or without you. Although I made the best memories and conversations with you, I can’t force myself upon you and knowing that, there’s no point in being eternally upset over it. So thank you. Thank you for giving me the best of you and thank you for letting me give you the best of myself.